Baby Got Boat
by Marinera K
Summary: You've heard the original song a thousand times, aye? Well, fancy a little piratey remix? Rewrite of "Baby Got Back," from the perspective of your ordinary seaman.


C'mon, we all know the song.  
Now how about a new remix?  
**Baby Got Boat - **the POTC (or, if ye prefer, the sailors') version  
Original Song -- "Baby Got Back," by Sir Mix-a-lot  
Inspiration -- "Pirates of the Caribbean," by Disney

* * *

_Oh, by 'is wounds. Scarlett, look at that ship!  
__It is so big! It looks like,  
__One of those pirate-type bad guys' props.  
__But, y'know, who understands those pirates?  
__Girls only talk to them because  
__They look like Johnny Depp, 'kay?  
__I mean, that ship, it's just so big.  
__I can't believe those cannons are so long, they're like,  
__Out there, I mean – gross. Look!  
__They're all such... pirates!_

I like big ships and I cannot lie-  
Ye other seamen can't deny,  
That when a jack sails up with a man-o'-war  
And two decks with seventy-four,  
You start droolin', wanna get out to sea  
'Cause I'm likin' them masts of three,  
Complete to the guns they're haulin',  
Me mates and I might start brawlin'-  
'Cause baby, I wanna hawl your lines,  
And smell o' your brine-  
Some wenches tried to distract me,  
But that boat you've got could (take the se'en seas).  
Hey, what's that, Bos'un?  
Y'say you want another crewman?  
Well, take me, take me,  
Cause that ain't yer average buoy!  
I've seen 'em sailin',  
While I was out whalin'.  
She's so fast, ne'er last,  
And can pack a powerful blast.  
I'm tired of merchant punks,  
Sayin' they like snows and junks,  
Put the average manjack to the vote-  
She gotta pack much boat.  
So, pirates! (Yeah!) Pirates! (Yeah!)  
Has your Captain got the boat? (Oh yeah!)  
Then crew it! (Crew it!) Crew it! (Crew it!)  
Crew that wicked ship!  
Baby got boat!

(Fully rigged with a Jolly Roger)  
(Fully rigged with a Jolly Roger)  
Baby got boat!  
(Fully rigged with a Jolly Roger)  
(Fully rigged with a Jolly Roger)

I like 'em sleek, an' black  
Like Captain Jack's,  
An' I just can't understand, how it is some lubber  
Wants an itty-bitty schooner-  
I wanna get on board  
And fire, double up, fire them guns!  
I ain't talking' about a li'l merchant,  
'Cause those bitty things are no combatants-  
I want 'em real fast and dominant,  
Completely a cut above-  
This jack's in love-  
Cannons that big are unheard of!  
So I'm lookin' at other ships,  
Tiny little things barely even equipped-  
You can have them dockyards,  
This jack wants a ship o' war.  
A word to the salty tars, I wanna crew with ya-  
I won't disrespect ya,  
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna take  
This beaut to... World's End!  
Baby, got it sailin' on-  
Some don't like my navigation,  
'Cause them jacks like to hit and run  
And I'd rather stand and fight,  
'Cause I've got blades, and carronades,  
And I'm here for a naval crusade,  
So, gunners! (Yeah!) Gunners! (Yeah!)  
If you wanna take down hunters (Yeah!)  
Then take me aboard, let me show you why,  
Even the First Mate can't deny,  
Baby got boat!

Yeah, baby… when it comes to a good ship,  
Even Davy Jones' selection just can't compare.  
37 + 37 equals **74** guns,  
(And if you're first rate, there's even more.)

So your Captain sails a cutter, thinkin' his boat is better,  
But your cutter ain't as nice as our gutters,  
This workin' hand shall not transfer  
Unless you've got boat, Sir!  
You can hunt pirates or ninjas,  
But please don't lose that ship-  
Some King's men wanna play that "hard" role  
And tell you that boat ain't gold,  
So they scuttle it, or desert it,  
But I come up quick to revert it.  
So His Majesty says it's crap,  
Well I ain't down with that!  
This ship is quick and her guns are kickin',  
So in the log I'm stickin'-  
To the land-bound lubbers what try to sail-  
Let's see _ye_ joust a gale!  
Or give me a Cap'n what fancies he's cunnin',  
I'll show 'im some AWEsome gunnin'!  
Some li'l Becky tried to dis,  
'Cause his privateers are on my hit list-  
He's got a fleet but they ain't near good 'nough-  
And I'll show 'em what it means bein' tough.  
So gents, if the ship's first rate  
And ye want another messmate,  
Send a powder monkey down to the local tavern,  
And bring me aboard that beaut-  
Baby got boat!

(Got the graveyard dog-watch, but she got much boat)  
(Got the graveyard dog-watch, but she got much boat)  
(Got the graveyard dog-watch, but she got much boat)  
(Got the graveyard dog-watch, but she got much boat!)

_(gun blast)_


End file.
